In pointing out these two major mistakes 1 do not mean that
everything is wrong with Mr. Fix-It or the home-improvement committee. These
are very positive Martian and Venusian attributes. The mistakes are only in
timing and approach.
A woman greatly appreciates Mr. Fix-It, as long as he
doesn't come out when she is upset. Men need to remember that when women seem
upset and talk about problems is not the time to
offer solutions; instead she needs to be heard, and
gradually she will feel better on her own. She does not need to be fixed.
A man greatly appreciates the home-improvement committee, as
long as it is requested. Women need to remember that unsolicited advice or
criticismespecially if he has made a mistake-make him feel unloved and
controlled. He needs her acceptance more than her advice, 'In order to learn
from his mistakes. When a man feels that a woman Is not trying to improve him,
he is much more likely to ask for her feedback and advice.
Understanding these differences makes it easier to respect
our partner's sensitivities and be more supportive. In addition we recognize
that when our partner resists us it is probably because we have made a mistake
in our timing or approach. Let's explore this in greater detail.
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